Vote for a real change in 08′

There was a song called that years ago. I do not recall you made it, maybe the Cars…no matter.

Things are unsettled, to say the least. No work to speak of, Interesting I am now on as a part time sailing instructor at 3 different places, non of which are enough to live on. But I did predict some work by June/July I’m still on Unemployment. Funny thing, not funny haha, but funny pain in the butt weird, is that they pay you 1/3 of your salary after making you wait 2 weeks, but paying you for one, and then when you make some extra money beside that, they take that much away from you. So it is like you are being punished for losing your job and for trying to make enough money to live off besde what they pay you. Weird anyway already I digress because i’m off the topic.

I did that wedding show a couple of weeks ago that was fun. I invited an old student of mine to the show with her husband to be. He is a sound engineer. He asked if I would be interested in writing a sound track for a audio play he was expecting. I said, hmm ok, I’ve not done that before, but… sure I can give it a shot.

Last week we had a read through for the play. It is an interesting piece, totally not what I expected. Myself and another guy, the partner of the husband to be are partnering up to do the sound track. This should be interesting, I love doing studio stuff and a new adventure will be fun. We are even suppose to get paid at some point. wow, how cool is that!

It has been a while since LZ ( Lady Z) and I have gone out and had some fun or got to visit with friends. This Thursday we did both. The Tokyo Delegation was up own way so we decided to visit meet for dinner at Kirala Restaurant in Berkeley. LZ and I have been there before but it has been awhile. The Delegation had not been there. They had heard how good it is and also the owner is part of a Blasian couple like us. Additionally there is a Robata (Japanese grill ) there, not many here in CA.

LC and I arrived about 7pm , expecting it to be a line as always and no parking. We were surprised to find we got 1 of two street spaces right in front and no line. We thought maybe it was not open yet. I got out to check , it was open and pretty full. I spoke with the owner a bit in Japanese, she remember me once I spoke to her. She had me sign in and I said we were looking for our friends and it would be a few minutes. It would take a while for our table to be ready anyway she said.

I went back to the car for LZ, we hung out for some 10-15 min. The owner came out and got us, saying our table was ready, so we went in to sit. The Delegation we found out later was sitting on the Bay Bridge in traffic, pretty typical coming out of the City. So we ordered a drinks and appetizer whilst waiting. I had Lychee sake and LZ had Nihon no Beeru

Shortly afterward they arrived. Zu-san ordered Shochu. The waitress was not sure if they had it as not many Americans order that. However they did find some, but… served it with to much ice. Not Japanese style, but the second glass he explained how to do it and it was ok.

The food was excellent. We ordered a lot from the grill they were pleased with the deliciousness of the taste, just like Japan! Desho, I said. The owner came over after a while and I made introductions. We were a bit of celebrities as the table speaking Japanese. We chatted with a couple of the waitress one of who knew LZ from before. It was a good evening, we had a sense of being back in Japan.

Finally we finished dinner and most of the people were leaving, we were still chatting. We were the last of 3 tables still there. There was a Japanese fellow who had spoken with us earlier was leaving and he stopped by our table again. After a brief chat, he sits with us, and we have a very interesting conversation about Japan in the 60’s and 70’s. I’m glad he switched to English , because I was only getting about half of what he was saying in Japanese, I still have a long way t go to follow 100%. He told us of hanging out with a lot of GI ’s, played music some, loved, rock, R&B, did acid ( back in the day) partied a lot. He told us of the Black & White Culture in Japan back in the VietNam era. Meanwhile the staff was putting everything away, counting receipts, etc. We were the only customers left. Sumimasen I said to the Lady owner, while on my way back from the Loo, she said, no problem, you’re enjoying yourselves.

We continued to chat with the guy for about 10 min or so. Now it is close to 11:ppm and he excused himself. We asked if he was the Sushi chief, he said no, I’m the owner.

We were shocked! We all thought that the lady was the sole owner, but then just figured he was a partner. No matter, so we felt less bad about staying late, hanging with an owner, sweet. Yeah Good times!

This was my first visit with the Ch’an group since the retreat. After certain events I was feeling spiritually flat. I needed some cushion time today. Shixong ( brother) says, after we do some meditation we will have a special exercise to help with your detachment. It will help with those random thoughts you have during meditation. I’m thinking hmm ok, I can use that.

After about 30 min. of sitting we break. Shixong tells us about the drill/exercise. We are going to go hand out fliers. Oh No!!! I think. Facing strangers is good practice for you on detachment he says. Observe and reflect on your reaction to their response. In my mind I flash on the Japanese Soto exercise of begging, in a sense the same thing, but different. I think, oh jheeze, I do not like this, but I will do it. I have had plenty of exercise on detachment lately but one can not get enough, I guess until one is truly detached, It is always needed not just for sitting meditation but in daily life, eg: no email replies, job rejections, etc etc. Reminds of a Nurato Ninja cartoon where he was told, everything is training to a Ninja. Same as everything is Zen training. Ok, this one is dealing with strangers. For one as shy as I am, it is a major thing to do this, but I will “ganbatte” ( do my best) and face the shy demon. I will do the seperation, detachment thing I do when going on stage, getting up in front of a class, the like.

It was a nice day out side, cooler than it had been over the last few days. That was a blessing. We, my group, three of us, took a station in front of a Major Asian market. I notice there is already a group a people handing out fliers as well. Oh boy… It is not a real big deal to do this, but the other two in my group also admit they are shy as well. I pick a spot by a second entrance, alone and have at it. “Duweibuchi” ( excuse me) Jiega yau buyau, I say to the folks that look Chinese ( they look surprised to hear that from me, hehehaha) and show them the Chinese printed side of the flyer. Interested in class in Meditation, Would you like info, I say to the non-Chinese. One guy takes the flyer, looks at it, then looks at another flyer he is holding. He laughs and asks, this is interesting. This flier just handed to me a while ago is on the Christian path, now this one on Buddhism. We laugh. I say, this is not about Buddhism. Zen will help enhance the Christian experience. We use Buddhist words but it is not about being a Buddhist, it’s about being centered. We laugh, and he sets off to do what he was doing. There was one good encounter at least. Others just took the info, some with a slight smile some not. I thank them all.

After about 30 mintues, I had run out of flyers. Not bad. Only a few gave me the do not bug me look. A few plain ignored me, a few just said no, a few smiled and said no. I faced the demon and survived again…life continues. Did this help my detachment from thoughts when doing meditation…I’ve no idea. Perhaps the most important thing and Shixong did say something about this was…maybe it helped someone find THE TAO . Therefore helping fill my bodhisattva vows.

The title is not what it is your thinking, no matter what it is your thinking. It is the name of a play by my student and her husband. Yesterday, Sat was show time. I arrived at the theater @10:00 am and got setup. I was hoping we would have a band rehersal. We did of sorts, but it was on the fly, as in doing a run through of the whole show, just like it was live. It went for the most part well. Afterward we got a very short break, then the stage crew and sound did some more checks and stuff. Still no practice time for the band…

By now it is lunch time, I had to go pickup the lady Z and #2 son from the Bart. After a quick stop at Trader Joe’s for some food, flowers & drinks we were off to the show.

As with any show  people we buzzing around doing stuff. In a few moments it was show time. There was a bridal family member sitting in with us as the band started some opening tunes.

It was a little shaky starting by we got rolling by the 3rd tune like we had been playing together for a long time not just a couple of hours. I kept getting signaled from back stage another some , another song, one more song. Yes, we had to stall for the players. It was ok, we got to warm up and by know we were cooking. Then …show time.

The show was a musical/clown show about how the couple got together and some of their life up to this point. It included meeting their familes who also came out and played with the band. The grooms family played some down home hillbilly kind of stuff, that went over well. The bride’s Mum came out playing bag pipes. The show was full of singing, acrobats, and fun stuff with a lot of good talent.

The only downer to the show was that I did not get any of the band’s stuff recorded.

Oh well. At one point the projector was not working so we had to fill in with a made up Jam. Fun stuff… I love live theater.

The final act was their real wedding, and a dance-in with everyone on the stage and the band played on…

good time… I needed it!

I need to play more often.

Life is not full of sunny days, love n happiness, and flowers nor are real blogs by real people. Alot of things are going on these days, not all pleasant, some are. Standard Yin and Yang. Studying Zen is about being Happy even when things are bad. Finding Joy in Sadness is another way of saying it. Overall I’m in a good state of mind. But some things bug me and disrupt my “Wa”

I’m not pleased about several things right now. In the big picture of life, small beans…or the pea in the bed. I got a letter from our condo management company saying, I had to replace a window in the club house…What??!!  It said I broke it and rule something something said I need to replace it in 30 days. Grrrrrrrr. I did not even know there was a broken window!!! My students and I are very respectful of the place and the people who use it. I was not happy to get the letter. I wrote back. I DID NOT break any window. I want the person who said I did to face me and say it and be ready to prove it in front of a Judge!!  I will not pay! Grrrr, Some excuse to get me to stop working out there with my students I think. I heard they have been bringing me teaching up in the owners meetings. I only have sometime three students there, most times two. This may turn into a big thing, crap. I pay my dues I should be able to use the club house for guests and exercise. I keep things very low key. There is always the park across the street, not great but, people do it. Winter will be the problem. However unless I get some real work soon, all this will be mute as we will lose the condo and have to move… non-attachment is a good thing.

Next it really bugs me when I take the time to write folks emails about whatever and get no reply! Not even a simple courteous, yes, no , maybe, thanks whatever!! I have written about 6 or so emails to different folks on different topics and no one has said boo in return!! I know it works, because sailing work related mails I get answers. Sigh, I know I expect too much of people sometimes, manners, politness and such, I try to keep that to a minimum, but sometimes… one wants a bit of courtesy. Sigh, I’ll need to work on that fault of mine. Ommm Ommmm

With the economy as it is, as I said, we have been thinking about major what if’s… scary times.

The government has come up with yet another way to get money. They now want people who spent over $1,000 to get their Captain license to carry a new card when working ( as in teaching a sailing class) that proves something about they are not terrorist! This new card cost 300.00 dollars! If one does not have it, their license maybe revoked. Isn’t THAT special!!!

For the 5 or so regular readers, not the spammers, you may recall I said back in April I had a “feeling” ( the Zen sense) something would happen work wise in June. It did, and is, it is not enough to save our home, but we will not starve That is a good thing! Possessions, things, home cars, boats, whatever are temporary anyway. Health is our most important life value. Buddha said, non-attachment is the way, Jesus said give unto Ceasar what is Ceasar’s…and old Kung Fu Shifu ( who lost a lot of money) of mine once said, it is all a game anyway. Anyway we still have about 3 months before we run out enough money to survive as we are.

Interestingly I have been reading this book called 9 night with a Taoist Master there are many statement about relaxing and letting the “Tao” “God” take care of things. I’m trying to stay in that mindset. Sometimes it is not easy…sometimes it is.

There maybe another bit of light, I applied for a job at the college I went to for graphic design, they are looking for a media design person P/T. The pay is about what I was making hourly in the corporate world of design. They called!!! It is my first call since the bomb fell back in March. I did not speak with the person as I was out at a sailing instructor meeting at the new place, but they left a message. I am guessing it is for an interview, otherwise why would they call. If I can land this, along with the other P/T work this we could hang in there, until I get another break or we head off for Japan after cutting our loses. I could also get a chance to work on my ceramics again.

I heard today that unemployment in Cal was at it’s new high since 1970 something! I would not have guessed it when driving through Berkeley/Rockridge today on the way to band rehearsal. The restaurants and shops were full of people. Eating, laughing, shopping , etc.

The show/wedding /play is tomorrow. I’m looking forward to that, I always shift into a different space when I get to play! # 2 son will attend with Lady Z. It will be his first time seeing his old man play. Wonder if he cares…teens. Seems he mostly cares about his X-box 360

I did hear him talking to his friend the other night about GW Bush ( he thinks he is an idiot), the environment, cars and such, there is some hope. :-

Life is an adventure ne! The good, Bad and the ugly, full of this n that!

I had a surprise last night. I was asked by an old student to play with the band for her wedding & play this coming weekend. She and her husband-to-be are professional clowns, I did a show with them last year, for those who follow this there remember the the theater and the circus shows. Anyway, so I told them I would be glad to do it. I’m always up for playing. It meant going late to another event I had planned, over on Treasure Island for a Summer Sailstice event. Acually I had planned sailing to it, but that had to be canceled with the Wedding. Anyway, on my last gig, my Amp started to major act up. I had put off getting it fixed. At this point it was too late. I ended up with a little bit of extra money from our tax refund. So I went looking for a Used Amp. I found one, I thought would be good. I drove for 1 hr to this place got lost, which meant losing another 30 min. Only to find this Amp was NOT a good buy. Bummer!!

I went back to the search on Craig’s list. I happened a cross a new ad the next day. It was for “like new” Amp much closer. I jumped on it! I called the guy only to find out, he runs a mUsic store and is clearing out some Amps he had. The amp was not “like New” it was NEW!! Still in the Box. At less than half price!!! Cooll!! I was there!

So now I have a new Amp, prefect size and weight and the Brand I wanted CHEAP!. How cool is that!? So last night I went to my first rehersal. The AMp sounded nice, but sounded better after I put in my In-line EQ. Now it was great! However that was not the surprise, I digress

The surprise is, I was expecting to do this gig for free. However when I got there my student has a small stack of stuff for me, which included MONEY! NICE! I tired to turn it down of course, but she insisted. I have learned through the years, not to try to argue with a woman

Zen’s Loving Day Month Sailing Non-Sailing Celebration Sangria:

1 part pineapple juice

2 parts merlot wine

1 cup orange juice

1 part ginger beer

1 organic apple cut up

1 organic orange cut up

4-5 stawberries, cut up

2 oz ( or so) tequila ( gold)

2 oz (or so) Shochu ( a Japanese Liquor)

mix and chill over night…

enjoy…. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh oooshiiiiiiii!

This was the drink we had along with some grilled salmon w/pesto, a small spring veggie salad with Artichokes, palm hearts, red wine vinaigrette dressing, salsa & chips.

This was our Loving Day boatnic ( picnic on a boat) celebration. I had planned a sail with a couple of international couples friends. However no one could make it. The day was perfect for a sail, however since I had the boat backed into the slip so I could access the starboard side, I passed. To take it out meant I would need to back in in the slip again. Therefore since it was just the Lady Z and I choose to just hang out, grill some fish, drink Sangria, eat, read and NAP. It was a good afternoon. The Lady Z read her Japanese book on “Zen”. It was not written by a monk but by a layman. She said, he says the same as you, “Zen” is not about religion, or limited to Buddhist, it is about living life. I read Nine Nights with a Taoist Master. It is the Tao Te Ching, written in a story form about Lao Tzu. Interesting reading. There were some very pointed items in there that are relevant to our current financial situation and life change.

The wild salmon I grilled on s/v “zen” BBQ. It was delicious ( Oshii). This is the way to have salmon remarked the Lady Z, much better than frying. It was our first BBQ since last 4th of July. It went GREAT with the Sangria and the gentle rocking of the boat, and the sounds of Kudo and Japanese songs playing on the laptop. Things were quiet at the marina, but there were lots of picnic in the park. I doubt if they were for Loving day, but I let my mind think so anyway. Happy Loving Day ( month) to all you mixed couples out there. Remember it was not THAT LONG ago that you’d be breaking the Law in the good old US of A.

peace!

More on loving Day here clickx

Zanshin is a Japanese word meaning Reminding Heart or Mind. It is the name of the final position of the body in Kyudo ( Japanese archery) after releasing the arrow. When the mind is clear, the breath is slow and relaxed. The form has changed to formlessness, in a state that would be called Wu Wei 无为 in Chinese. At least as I understand it, for this case.

I found it interesting that after the intense training of Kyudo for prior week, my next training after discarding the form, and being left with the “Heart” is the formless training of Heart Chan retreat. Which in one part of the sessions we spoke and discussed the heart/mind.

The Heart Zen retreat was held in Monterey Ca at the Asilomar conference center. This complex on the state park grounds next to the ocean is the complete opposite to the the high mountain heat and rustic monastic life of the Sonoma Mountains training.

The weather was comfortable somewhat on the cool side, but still bearable with a light jacket. This time I shared a room with my cousins, & wife. No walking for a 1/8 mile uphill to use the bathroom. Also no 5:15am zazen, It was 6:30 a.m. this time, extra hour for sleeping…sweet. There was no official lights out at 9:30 however, we did not finish with the evening sessions and meditation until 9:00pm.

Friday was our first session, it was more of an introduction and welcome to everyone with some review and basic practice. We had games to play on a couple of occasions.

Sat. morning began the work, with meditation at 6:30am after some motion Zen drills. From there we moved to breakfast.

The meals we nice and well prepared. The service was good, and one lacked for nothing. The meals were time for real social talk. As we were a dining hall with several other groups, that part did not feel as intimate as last year with just our group eating together. We were placed in a smaller back room for the first couple of days. Which was nice than the front area we were in on the final days. It was a small thing though due to our human ability to tune out.

After lunch a short break, that was welcome. A short nap or walk was called upon to fill the spot.

Over the next couple of days we followed the same pattern. the grounds were interesting.

A mix of tress, sand and water.

Our next session were lectures on things such as Having a Perfect life ( Sat.) & Living in the Zone ( Sun.). Then a Break and followed with more meditation 30 minutes.

The next lectures
How to Cultivate Our own Spirit ( Sat.), How To Live a Fuller life ( Sun) .

These were followed by lunch.

Next after lunch we have Details of Heart Chan practice ( Sat. ) and Success Story - Zen in the work place.(Sun.)

This turned into one of the more popular topics and ended up carrying over into more time. After a short tea break we were treated to a play. Showing the origins of Shaolin Chan via Ta Mo ( Bodidharma) ( Sat.)

which was funny & very entertaining

and watched later A DVD of one of the Shifu’s lectures.

After our next break and chat time, we had question and answer time. We were fortunate to have a senior brother who had been with the Shifu for some 15 - 18 yr. I think it was, visiting and helping with the seminars operation. Along with several other seniors we had a treasure chest of first hand information available.

The different and sometimes amusing part of being part of this event is the lectures all have to be translated, Chinese to English or English to Chinese. Sometimes things were skipped or change, which got a laugh form those of us who could tell. We also had singing, & individuals experience sharing. Our sessions covered a large spectrum.

My only real disappointment was not learning more Motion Zen drills. However, that is just my thing, as my ministry as it would be called in Christian circles, of Ch’an ( Zen ) is through the Motion Zen. I did pickup two new drills.

One of which maybe be a great help to my shoulders for Tai Chi and Kyudo the other I know from Tai Chi practice, it was very familiar.

After dinner & a break, there were other discussions before our evening meditation at 8:30 and closing @ 9:00.

The nice thing for us about being in Monterey is our friends the Tokyo Deligation lives there. So on Friday and Sat after the session we went to visit them. Also met another intercultural couple who are friends of theirs. These may also become Zen students as an interest was expressed from them.

Sunday morning followed the same pattern for the most part as Friday and Sat. The morning lecture was a lecture and practice on Deep Reflection Meditation. A step up on our basic daily Chakra meditation.

The lessens I received form this event were different in a way that I can not put into a wordy story. I am pleased to have attended and grateful to my spiritual “brother & sister “ who made possible for my wife and I to attend without hardship.

I am delighted my wife was able to attended this year and even more so since she had her own breakthrough with her meditation and understanding of Chan. I am also grateful that my cousin and wife were able to spent some connecting before her relocation. They are more than just marriage relations, they are friends. Also that we got to share this together.

I was able to find some of the papers translated from Chinese to English on some of the Shifu’s lectures. I will be posting some from time to time, maybe. One of the things spoke on during the event was how Zen practice is beyond religion. One can be any religion as I stated before and still practice “Zen” It was also stated that Zen/Chan is also more than and beyond just a “life style” as it had become in the West and less formal in our lay practice than the rigors of Japanese styles. Our lay practice with the focus on connecting to the Chi of the Universe, for health, wisdom, cleansing, and enlightenment is the base of life. One does not have to give up, convert, or join anything in mind or heart to follow the path of Shaolin ( Heart) Chan or add it to their own spritural practice.

Some parts of last year’s retreat I did find more enjoyable, but it did not hinder me from enjoying were I was or being grateful for this year’s event. In many ways it was more enjoyable.

I will be reflecting and recalling lessons, feelings, sensations for several days. Sometimes the subconscious brings out wordless stored messages, lessons after the fact, after storing the substance first. Bring them up again like when I am writing this post. Sort of like a cow chewing it’s cud.

I did realize clearly how much of a natural course this Heart Chan is for me. I have studied Chi, for healing - Chi Gong, Protection - Kung Fu, for health - Tai Chi, for balance in one’s environment via Feng Shui

This covers the body and mind, so connecting to it’s use for enlightenment, spiritual development, mental and spiritual health is a natural progression.

_/\_

Zanshin ざんしん

Now that it s over I have found myself reflecting on different aspects of the adventure. When I was just getting started on day one and two. I thought to myself, well, it’s not as I thought it would be, but… I can do this! I can get through it no matter what. However I will not do this again. Partly because of our plans to go to Japan next year. Partly because I was not enjoying it. Now having completed the training.

I can see more of the value of the intensity. I would diffidently going again, with the right equipment. In fact I would like to go once more. I think it will be a good training for the Sail Passage. Yes, a week of Zen & Kyudo would be good mind and spirit training for a ocean passage. I’ll plan on working that into the schedule.

I believe this retreat qualifies as: Shigyo

Shugyo (修行) may be defined literally as “conducting oneself in a way that inspires mastery”. While the meaning of the kanji used in “shu” was originally translated as ‘using a brush to strike away the dust that obscures the viewing of a persons original elegance’, the combined kanji of “shu” and “gyo” (carrying out, walking along) is now generally translated as simply “severe or austere training”. The kanji rendered for this version of “shugyo” is most commonly associated with Buddhist asceticism, and most notably, the “shugenja” (修験者, ascetic mountain-dwelling monks).
When I read this I got a sense of what was to be. On many levels this was Severe or Austere training. As I look back I can see the overall connectiveness of the experience. It was a warrior retreat, unlike the heart zen retreat we just returned from. The underlying physical training was as intense as the spiritual. I am grateful to have been been able to attend. I see, feel, understand the link between the motion zen and sitting. Also how I want to run a retreat and the use of the sitting zen with the martial training. In my case it would be Tai Chi and Kung Fu.

Before I went on this retreat I purchased a book called “One Arrow, One Life- Zen, Archery, Enlightenment”. by Kenneth Kushner. I had planned on reading this during some free time , if there was some on this retreat. Now after attending the retreat I find the book resonates which the experience. The mind set of zazen carrying on to the mind set of a shot. The connection from grounding, to the release of the arrow. The alinement of the body with that of the bow , target, breath, arrow. The subtleties of the complementary nature of thought and action, movement and stillness. If fells in the gaps of the older book, “Zen and the art of archery”.

I see another one of these retreat as a great spirit training for my ocean passage. Even under ideal weather conditions this type of retreat with it’s, the structure, the subtile physical training, the mental forging, the connection to the earth, the release of ego in the face of something bigger is a challenge to spirit and body.

I am a bit sad that I will be unable, to attend more than one more in the future. However good things happen as well as bad, so only the Force knows about tomorrow I can only hope there is one an live where I am now and be grateful for the present.

_/\_