Thankful, but sad…

29 11 2010

I have been working as a Security officer now for about 7 months. It is not that I hate it, however it is boring as all get down. So much time I put into getting educated, skilled, trained, yet here I am walking around a parking lot. It could be worse, others are far far worse off. So I must remember to be grateful. It is a bit of a spirit lift when someone out of the blue says thank you for being here, it is scary in the dark, early in the morning. I have had that happen at least 3 or 4 times. I feel worthwhile suffering in the cold and dark of the early morning. Later the drab sets in and I get once again depressed I am not making any head way with life plans. One thing that I really do not understand about this job is, there are security booths setup that can see the whole parking lot, where the guards can be seen, but we are not allowed to use them, they, the company has them in use for keeping boxes. Boxes are more important that their workers to have shelter? Anyway the most troubling about this work is my spirit fades a little everyday. What they say about losing something you do not use, I feel happening to my artistic creativity. I am thankful to be working …at all, but sad, my spirit is fading as is my confidence to be any better than where I am. However on the bright side, I can use the time getting off early to job hunt, work on the boat, sail or whatever. Even though usually I need to take a nap from the lack of sleep. Yet still I have most of the rest of the day to do something. Also I get to get some exercise to help stay healthy and fit.  I need to keep looking on the bright side…

 

Is this Zen? All earth path lead to the same place…death

 

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7 responses

29 11 2010
Rick Matz

Renshu, my brother….

3 12 2010
Zen

Sou da!

29 11 2010
Accidental Aikidoist

I feel you. I’m currently doing a seasonal retail job and I’m just counting down the days to when I’ll be released. Worse yet it cuts into my Aikido schedule, so my training is minimal at best. Every time I jump on the mat it’s a lot like Superman basking in the sun, getting his powers back. Whereas being in retail, it’s like a low level kryptonite.

I can partake in two things:

1. This is good training in itself – trying to keep one’s center despite being in a bad situation. And…
2. I do need the cash for future use, especially if I were to go into another martial art.

The sad part is that I see it in my coworkers, their ages range from 18 to their 50s and their entire lives revolve around this institution – which is stifling to the creative aspect to anyone.

3 12 2010
Zen

Low level kryptonite indeed. Yes, we do what we need to do to survive and it is another type of training.

30 11 2010
Romulus Burnett

Zen, man, I got this. I was literally right where you are back in the early 90’s. Here I am, educated, intelligent, talented, and working 11 to 7 on a security job. Immediately I started to focus on the up side. In between doing my rounds, which was turning clocks at the end of every hour, I would read, meditate, and work on unfinished assignments.

No matter how long it took me to find a job, no matter how many turn-downs, no call-backs or how many ‘the job is already filled’ responses I got I continued to picture myself working. Low and behold, after six months I was hired. Even after that new career of working as a graphic designer I switched to teaching. The time between working with an emergency certification and actually completing my masters degree and becoming certified was hell–moving from school to school, state to state.

I’m finally where I want to be. But guess what? I’m still moving forward. When I complete my doctorate I will end my second professional career and embark on another one. Use your time while you’re on your security detail to strengthen your will. Use that time to picture yourself at the next level.

Oh, and by the way, the reason why you can’t use those security shacks anymore is because either too many guards got caught sleeping on the job or too many guards got caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing up in there. Stay strong, Zen.

3 12 2010
Zen

Veng! Yo, good to hear from you. Thanks for the input. It’s Grandmaster Flash stuff Survival and one must Keep the Faith. Some days are easier than others as you know.
I hope things are well on your end with the new life.

peace!

1 12 2010
KUMA

Bright side….., Yap you have ME !! : )

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